Tuesday, December 16, 2008

sweetheart (part 1)

well this is not her best photo. She is trying to be very formal in case I hold her for another snap. She is to eager to jump out and play with her cousins. aida is her name. unplanned pregnancy. my fault, wrong count. who to be blamed, no one i guess. she came as a suprise. both not ready for the repeate diapers changing and sleepless nights and visits to doctors. her brother is going to be 5 that year. there are those haunting thoughts that crossed my mind at the early stage, once she started to kick i confirmed heart body soul and mind to keep her. i knew it is going to be her..but also wish to her a he for my husband sake. No, she did not make her present in my life to be any where disturbing me, she did not have morning sickness, nor she gave any untamed cravings. having her is the most easiest pregnancy that i went through, she is very obedient since in the womb. the part that she did not bother me at all, i only make the visit to the clinics after 28 weeks of pregnancy. yes, there were the scoldings. looking at my records, that it is not good at all, i am taking a risk. but who is carrying her, the mother..and who are they..mere doctors.

she came out with 3.5kg , yes c-section. healthy and we went home 5 days after delivery...September 20, the same day of her paternal grandmother. Same DATE. Since she is health, chubbier by the day (breastfeeding), she is left in my sister in law care after the 60 days are gone. She sleeps well, feed well, no problem at all.

that year, 2001 my mum went to do her hajj and my sister in law is left alone with her. she is 6 months old, chubby, healthy and is trying to crawl ..until she is caught by the fever....7 days..her fever is gone..thank god...but that day the D day..i received a phone call from the hospital asking me to rush to the emergency ward. not many words are exhange exept please hurryup.

my husband is on 24 hours duty...i rushed to the hospital and received a very shocking news..my daughters has left consiousness for more than 5 minutes...

it meant..my daughter brain did not get the oksigen for 5 solid minutes and this will affect her body soul and mind...she might be a vegetable...that was the first thing that was blurted out from the sweet pink lady doctor mouth that i wish that is not true...

she added your daughter is having brain fever, meningitis is the name. (tbc).

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