Saturday, December 20, 2008

Sweetheart - continue

She was in the emergency ward, and that night they took her to icu, she is still unconsious, I, as a muslim women, what else can I do, I started to pray, pray very hard, it went into the most deep part of my heart praying for her best, pray to god for her best and frankly I must admit that I am not good at all with my reading al-quran, but, tried my best to read Yassin.

Unfortunately, Only mother is allowed to be in the ICU, my husband can only visit once a while, he can only pop in and out of the icu but cannot stay in the ward. I am given a stool to sit when I am tired after a long period of standing.

Her cubicle is in the middle, on the same day, there were two death, the baby that is at her right side and another young man around the corner and there is death everyday.

There was an incidence that make me cry, I can feel the lost as what had happened to a mother that was seated far left (corner) reading her bible, and that it was her last son, the third son that had perished to luekemia. She was so calmed. (We are advised not to talk or visit one another in the ICU). I gave her my most supportive look.

There was another incidence, just next to me, a young mother lost her first baby. That day I cant controlled myself, I was about to approach her, she was crying, holding her lifeless baby wrapped in the white cloth, but again was warned not to touch her, they said, remember , you have a baby yourself and you might transfer the virus from her body, I stop abruptly, reverse to my seat.

Then, suddenly I had that strength. God, I am your servant, I am ready for your test.

Every death, scares me a lot (no words can be transcribed my feeling on how scared I am). Praying very hard she should not be next.

On the next day, the doctor asked our permission to make a lumbar puncture, to have some test on what actually had attacked her brain. Do we have any choice to say no when she is lying helplessly on the bed , unconsious ?. The doctor managed to find out that there is a bacteria in her. They will be giving some medicine. There was no promises and I am aware on all the consequences.

After 72 hours of not much difference, I was asked to called her name. I called here name so many times until I wish I could scream and she should be awake. There is no stir at all from her to come back to me. I ask for permission to sit next to her (actually we are suppose to sit about two feet away from her) I cant even touch her before. I read the Yassin, non stop, I do not remember did I stay awake or asleep, but I do remember everytime when I am awake, I am reading the Yassin again and again and praying very very hard. After the fourth day she was discharged to be sent to the Paediatric ward. She has regain consiousness. Goodnews that became worst.


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