space

it has been long since i have taken any annual leave to be with my family, my ayang and the kids has been so used not to have me around the house all the time.

as usual they do not bother much when i am infront of my laptop. i am not sure there are trying to be nice or i have been ignored.

who is complaining now, except my ayang who will be taking a nap near me but the rest is not lingering around me at all. i have been dumped.

even Aida the youngest keep disappering with my sister and yesterday she stayed overnight. it is not fair to them that i am going to sit for my final exam this semester soon enough.

this year is the most boring Hari Raya so proclaimed my eldest daughter, she missed Alor Star, she missed the yearly barbacue with her aunties and uncles and nephews.

today she so bored that she help me cooking...hmm, to kill time I guess or to bury the sorrow with food , poor girl, since all of her friends are still somewhere but far from home.

my nieces and nephews and my two other sisters (different mother) came to visit at the same time, hardly there are space to sit. in total there are 5 families x 5 = 25 people (10 adults and fifteen kids), my father was overwhelmed with the crowd. he loves to be centre of the attention.

this morning he was blabbering about liverpool, where once he was there for two years around 1953, ah yes, anuar zain is visiting liverpool hari raya documentary, he still missed london, yorkshire, liverpool and all the memories lingers here and there, deep in my heart, how I wish to be there too.

3rd Shawal

woke up earlier than yesterday.. had more than enough rest..no stress..no deadline except exam is round the corner ...self made stress..

my eldest sister came to visit..came back from penang last night..she is soo tired and without fail will find peace at my house..

my ayang is visiting his friends after the solah jumaat..it is 3.00pm and my sister is finding solace in my house..she brought some ole ole from penang..aah..the best belacan so she said..poor kaklong..she is so lonely at home..and me of no help is studying while she is busy talking but the best part..wow she complimented my house..seldom she finds the house suitable for living nor breathing...

and that it for today..

Today

2nd day of Shawal.. in KL..15 hours staying at home..no visitor today..at 9.00pm before my kids go crazy of boredom we take them out for dinner..they have enough rendang and kuah kacang..they need to breath..

not many malays at ABC..and the service is super slow..patience..tolerating moderately..my kids are doing ward rounds..let them be..and they came running to the table..once they saw the food is coming to the table..

within 5 minutes.."can I have second ma"..no way..who on earth will be willing to wait for another 30 minutes of roti canai telur..not me..

are you still hungry..can you eat cereal at home please..mama will kill one or two mamaks if they make me wait another 30 minutes..my..son..just nodded his head..he knew..waiting is not my bread and butter and to see his mother making a scene..is too much to stomach..

and that it for today..boring...

Family

dedicated to friends..my family...he he he ( I am the largest)..oh my..

Raya 1 shawal

woke up at 6.00 am..the feeling is different...there are still aplenty of things to do..but first..the prayer..and oh yes ..and the special bath to celebrate the 1st shawal...ayang, pretending to sleep..but when he knows that I am going to sit on top of him..he quickly give a playful smack at my hip..aha..he is awake.. bang...tolong mama..keja banyak tu...anak anak kasi gerak..suruh mandi sunat aidil fitri...."..as a mother if we do not remind them..either they forgot or purposely do not want to remember..aaah children..i was one...before..

in my last sujud..i pray to all...the past families especially my mum to be well taken care off up there..my friends that were once were very closed to me....sickness.accidents..only god knows ...every human will have one or two of their beloved being taken away..you heart yearned but you accepted the fact..

then...busy preparing the breakfast so they can have a bite before going for the aidil fitri prayer..ayang...give a bath to grandpapa..aida..chirpy as usual..asking why are they not fasting anymore..why today are the celebration why we only fast 30 days..why we must have the special bath..why..all the whys...driving me half there..but reminded myself..this current whys will stop soon since she is already nine..I must enjoy all the questions while I can..examples are there..my two other kids hardly speak..nor ask..they are more content with chatting..smsing and television..

I wore the new jubah present from ayang..but changed my mine since it is too long..I have not done any alteration to the jubah..last minute shopping..but wore it for a while to make sure that ayang knew I love his present...(older it is the more sensitive they are)..

Since Aida must not go, Ecah need to sacrifice to take care of her and granpapa...I had never expected this...we miss the prayer..when we reached the sg serai masjid..it was the last rukuk..and I were very very dissapointed ...but stayed for the Khutbah..

Grandpapa@Atuk has taken breakfast..thanks to Ecah..we all line up infront of him and ask for forgiveness..when it is my turn..he was in tears..I knew..every helpless person will feel the same..grateful..thankful to anyone who still can share the unlimited unconditional love..
how many houses he has been hoping until he do not want to move anymore when he stayed with me when my other siblings persuade to take him in..he will always says..visiting yes..overnight no......it is tiring..but my children are blessed to have someone to be there all the time..

My younger sister and my younger brother came to see father, that is the catch if you have the elder ones..you house will be visited..than you can torcher them nicely..(ha ha ha)..sorry..carried away..

I visited a few houses too and headed home since I felt too tired. I took a nap but was awaken with the high pitch of Aida shouting.."mama mama, kawan baby datang"....and it went on until 7.00 pm...

It was a tiring and fruitful day...

8.30 pm..Mama mama..jum kita gi kedai ABC...(Aida favourite mamak shop near Balakong)...
no way..malam ni mama nak study...he he he..(so I posted this)..