I am not sure on my feeling or how should I felt during the stay. I have been living like this for the past few years, not to feel. Intimite feeling, feeling towards my father or any other person.
I have had enough pain when my dearest mother passed away. It was bad and until some friends keep reminding me to come out from the depression. I managed to crawl out but it is no longer the same.
I did not know that it can be so helpless when world or my life did not mean anything anymore.
I regret that I had shut down the feeling. I prayed for it to come back.
When I tried again to feel but the "black period" reminded and kept me away to try to go back there....to be passionate again...
I have had friends called me heartless, I am not, I am afraid not at all.
I have had friends called me expressionless..., I am not a good actor..it shows what you feel deep inside...
I have lost the touch..
I still remembered how I cried when my kitten passed away..
I still remembered how I cant eat after watching the sudanese documentary...
I want it to come back..to be a better person to be once again the caring person inside and out..
Is it gone ...is it for good..
Is it worthwhile..
Is it GOD has created a path that would mould me to be ready in the situation that need a strong head person like me..
Is it ....what do you think ?